How to Know if You're Self-Sabotaging and What to do About it

Do you amplify your wins or your losses?

Most of us amplify our losses, and I'll bet you do it, too.

Not sure? Answer these questions:

1. You were feeling kind of tired today when you went to your workout. You completed most of your plan but not everything. When someone asks you how your workout went, what do you answer?

A) It was great! Instead of ditching the gym, I did what I could.
B) I got it done, but I didn't finish everything.
C) It was terrible. I was too tired to complete everything.

2. You set a goal to drink a gallon of water every day. Today, you barely drank half that amount. At the end of the day you say:

A) Ugh! I failed to reach another goal.
B) That didn't go as planned, but I drank more than I normally do.
C) Why can't I do anything I plan to do?

If you answered B or C for #1 or you answered A or C for #2, you amplify your losses.

Why does this matter?

Without getting all metaphysical about energy and negativity, the fact is that we like to do things that make us feel good. Amplifying your wins makes you feel good and increases your chances of doing it again.

If you are struggling to get your workouts done but you celebrate that you did the workout at all, you're more likely to give it another go.

Focusing on what you didn't do makes you feel guilty, frustrated, and like a failure. As you continue to associate failure with working out, you'll eventually fail to work out.

No, you're not just being honest!

I can hear you already, "But Ginny, I'm just being honest about what I didn't do." No. You're not.

You're holding yourself up to a level of perfection that no one is capable of achieving. Even the highest-paid athletes don't complete every workout every time to perfection.

What you're doing is repeating patterns (probably learned in childhood) of punishment and shame. That voice inside your head is repeating words that were meant to keep you safe at a whole different time in your life.

The good news is that you have the power to change what that voice is saying. You can take her from a mean b**ch into your greatest cheerleader.

How do you turn this around?

• Start with celebrating your wins. No matter how small they are, they count.
• Use the example questions. Any time you take a step in the direction you want to go, give yourself a high five. Do a happy dance. Even just say it out loud, "Hooray for me! I did it!"
• Give this a try. Consciously change the voice in your head. When she's being mean, turn whatever she's saying around into something positive.

The change will feel weird.

• Celebrating your wins, no matter how small they are, takes time and practice. Like say-it-out-loud practice.
• You will 100% feel weird when you start. You'll feel inauthentic and like you're lying to yourself. Do it anyway. The more you do it, the faster you create a new habit of encouraging yourself.

The only voice that matters is yours.

Make sure you're saying the good stuff.

This is exactly the kind of thing we work on (along with fitness and plant-based living) in The Women's Wellness Academy. Check out VIP Coaching.